Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Humility Is the Brake
09.15.25 Tonight at the meeting the random topic was ego. I’ve been making a habit of pulling up the Big Book on my phone during meetings and searching the topic, so I can share something connected to a solution from the book instead of just my own rambling. I like doing it — it grounds
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Sleep, Sweat, and Reset
09.14.25 I think I beat this sickness with vitamins, tea, and a ridiculous amount of sleep. I honestly haven’t slept that much since I was drinking and hungover. The dreams sucked though—too damn real, too damn weird. At least I didn’t join the exclusive and elite cannibal cult in one of them, so that’s something.
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I’m Sensitive, Damnit!
09.12.25 Some days are just fucking hard. In recovery, I work so hard to change my way of thinking and living for the better. But sometimes, for no reason at all, emotions hit like a brick to the face. A life brick to the face. Today I cried a lot. My heart felt heavy. I
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Sharp as a Tack in a Haystack
09.11.25 Today was a good day. Work went well, then tonight I went to the meeting and it turned out to be just what I needed. A friend with 25+ years of sobriety is now chairing the Thursday night meeting, and it felt so good to see him right at home, sharp as a tack