Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
-
Daydreaming About Purpose and Naps
8.5.25 It’s only August 5th, and I’m already praying for the month to be over. Life feels heavy—there’s so much on my mind, and a quiet, lingering grief that seems to follow me everywhere. I’ve been talking to my higher power a lot, trying to understand what I’m supposed to be learning from all of
-
Quiet Battles
8.4.25 Today was a full day — I went into the office and got to see my coworkers, and then went to a meeting tonight and spent time with friends in recovery. After the meeting, I visited for a bit, and that made me happy too. It felt good to be around people, to feel
-
12 Promises of Drinking
8.3.25 I don’t have much to say today—for once. But something someone shared at the meeting gave me goosebumps. It was a twist on the 12 Promises from the Big Book. Instead of what we gain in sobriety, these were the “12 Promises of Drinking.” Are these extravagant promises? We think not! They are being
-
Where My Feet Are
8.2.25 My daughter is out of town, so I had some quiet time and got to spend part of my day with Chevy. I like to call it “horse therapy.” There’s something incredibly grounding about being outside with the horses—their calm presence, the open space, the stillness. It gives me room to breathe, to think,