Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Certified Daddy Issues
08.28.25 Dinner tonight filled my black heart. Sitting with these women who feel like family reminded me how time can both stand still and race ahead — we can go months without seeing each other, but when we come back together, it feels like home. At the end of the night, one of them shared…
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Why Don’t They Teach This Stuff?
08.27.25 Last night I went to my first committee meeting for my new service position, and I’m really excited to be part of planning such a great event for next year. Service work continues to feel like such an important part of my sobriety—it gives me purpose and connection. Today was insanely busy at work…
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The Tribe That Stays
08.26.25 Yesterday’s Daily Reflections reading talks about the difference between bondage and bonding. When I was drinking, I thought alcohol would help me connect with people, but more often than not it left me stuck in isolation. In recovery, I’ve been given something I never found in a drink—real bonds with people who understand, support,…
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Freedom in Facing Grief
08.25.25 13 years ago today, my ex-husband, Andrew, lost his battle with opioid addiction and took his own life. For years, I buried my grief in alcohol, unable—or unwilling—to face the pain. Through working the Twelve Steps and with the guidance of my therapist, I’ve finally begun to confront and process that grief instead of…