Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
-
Freedom in Facing Grief
08.25.25 13 years ago today, my ex-husband, Andrew, lost his battle with opioid addiction and took his own life. For years, I buried my grief in alcohol, unable—or unwilling—to face the pain. Through working the Twelve Steps and with the guidance of my therapist, I’ve finally begun to confront and process that grief instead of
-
Sunday Reset
8.24.25 Yesterday I carried anxiety around like a weight. That nagging feeling that there isn’t enough time followed me everywhere. By this morning, it all came crashing down. I woke up, saw the time, and had a full-blown anxiety attack. Ugly crying and all. I beat myself up for watching a movie last night, for
-
Freedom Isn’t Free
08.22.25 A lot of powerful things were shared tonight on the topic of Freedom: what I lost and what I gained. For so long, I thought drinking gave me freedom—freedom from pain, fear, and responsibility. In reality, I had lost my connections with family and friends, isolated myself, and convinced myself I was “free” because
-
Wrong Forecast Again
08.21.25 Today feels like one of those days where nothing seems to line up right. The saying, “If it was raining dicks, I’d get hit in the head with a tit,” pretty much sums it up. I’ve been running non-stop these past couple of weeks—between work and personal life, it feels like there’s always something