Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • Showing Up Sober

    10.03.25 I made it! This morning my anxiety was gone, and after some appointments I drove all by myself without any issues. Like a big girl. The trip was uneventful in the best way, and I even finished a book on Audible for my book club. When I got here, I felt a little guilt

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  • Cherry Popped

    10.02.25 Tonight I had two new firsts. I went to a completely sober bar, and I tried kava. The bar itself was such a nice surprise. It had a mellow and friendly vibe, the kind of place where people could actually talk and relax. There were couches and chairs for lounging if you didn’t want

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  • The Outside Still Terrifies Me

    10.02.25 I worked from home today because I feel scattered, tense, and anxious about this weekend trip. It’s just a four-hour drive to my brother’s house. Just. And yet I can’t stop spiraling. It’s been years since I’ve gone anywhere. Back when I was drinking, I would make excuses—“I have to take care of the

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  • Mirror, Mirror, Fuck You

    09.30.25 Typical end of the month at work today. It was long, tested my patience, and wore me out—but I don’t owe any amends tonight, and that’s a miracle. I enjoy deep conversations. They push me, challenge me, and leave me with questions I carry long after. Last night I had a light conversation that

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